The Final Stretch and Saying Goodbye - A Futile Attempt to Encapsulate the End of My SB Experience

     When I left for SB, this blog was supposed to be updated bi-weekly.  When I got to SB, I changed that to a weekly blog and did a decent job sticking to that timetable for just over half my trip.  However, the last few weeks obviously didn’t work out that way, since I haven’t posted since the end of July.  I’m going to try to encapsulate everything about the end of my trip in one blog post and leave out as little as possible.

     The week after the Goldman trip was probably the busiest of my time at SB – I was teaching my full slate of econ and commerce classes, with seventh and eighth grade classes on top of that to fill in for several departed volunteers.  While it was exhausting, I’m so glad I had the chance to get to know the younger grades better for a week and make lasting friendships with them.  I taught persuasive writing and grammar, which was quite a change from business, but we had a little bit of fun with the writing prompts and worked on presentation skills as well.

     As the week went by, I started to realize that my time at SB was drawing to a close much faster than I had anticipated or wanted.  A big part of this realization was the fact that Em, who was leaving a week before me, had already started preparing for her departure.  I was leaving for the weekend to surprise my mom for her birthday (August 3^rd) and taking the same shuttle to the airport as Em, so her sadness at leaving proved very contagious.  However, it did make me slow down and appreciate the beauty of SB far earlier than I would have otherwise.

     Unsurprisingly, it turns out that you don’t have to look far for beauty or inspiration when surrounded by the most caring, genuine kids one will ever meet.  A perfect example is what I received before I left for Pune to see my mom – when the kids had asked me where I was going for the weekend, I told them that I was going for my mom’s birthday, and had I been talking to anyone else, that would have been the end of the story.  But not here.  Not with these kids.  Despite having never talked to my mother or even seen her for more than a couple hours three years ago, I got almost a dozen beautiful cards for her as the week went on (whose creators will remain anonymous lest they get in trouble for taking time out of their studies to make the cards).  Each and every one of these cards was painstakingly handcrafted with gorgeous artwork and genuine messages that made me smile uncontrollably – one of them actually moved me to tears, even though it wasn’t even for me.  The pure kindness and compassion that was evident in this outpouring showed me in material terms what I already knew – that SB was a family in every sense of the word.  Needless to say, when I saw my mom that weekend, she absolutely loved the cards and they made her birthday one to remember.  After we went out for dinner to celebrate, she made a short thank-you video for the kids and wrote a card, but still couldn’t even begin to express her gratitude.

The board in class, decorated for my mom!  Also note the list of nicknames I have on the right...

My mom and her cards!

     Anyway, the car ride to the airport with Em was definitely an interesting experience, since we left at 2 am.  Obviously, we stayed up all night up to that point with Theresa and Austin (another volunteer), just hanging out, reminiscing, and soaking in the memories and atmosphere of SB.  On the way to the airport, Em and I reflected on our experiences, sharing some pretty deep conversation, until I feel asleep while she was going off on some thought or the other and left her talking to herself for about five minutes until she realized I was down for the count (oops…). 

     When my flight landed back in Bangalore on Sunday evening, I found myself almost giddy with excitement – I had been gone hardly 36 hours, but I missed SB so much that I felt I had been gone for weeks (in retrospect, this was a fair warning for how I would feel a week later when I actually left).  When Kathya (another business volunteer) and I reached SB later that night, the kids greeted us like we had been gone forever.  Sunday was Friendship Day, and I got several beautifully made friendship bracelets from the girls that I wore for over a week; I still have them and am planning on putting them together in a keychain before I head back to school.  It was a great way to come back to what has become another home to me.

Some of the friendship bracelets!

     Unfortunately, the next day was the last Monday I had at SB, which would begin a week of whining about my last this and my last that (sorry, Theresa…).  By this time, I had become surprisingly possessive over my classes and didn’t want to give any of them up – I imagine this is only a fraction of what a full-time teacher feels at the end of a given school year.  I gave my students their second monthly tests and was so invested in how they were doing that grading their tests was essentially an emotional roller coaster which ranged from fist pumps when they nailed a question to blank stares and despondency when they blew an easy one.

     In addition, my final few dance practices were going on, as Kathya and I frantically tried to finish a dance to the Bollywood song “Avi Avi Lut Gaya,” which Payal and I had started weeks ago.  While I was in Pune, I bought sunglasses for the kids in the dance to make things a little more interesting, and the prop idea worked, to say the least.  One of my boys, Hassan, basically turned into a mini-Hrithik Roshan with his shades, to the point that I started referring to him as Hrithik once in a while (for those who don’t know, Hrithik Roshan is a famous Bollywood actor). 

Hassan and Sowmani have so much swag.

Hannah's wink on the left...just awesome

     In the midst of our practice on Wednesday, just after we had completed the choreography, Dr. George himself came to watch and surprisingly asked us to perform for visitors that were coming the next day.  This was beyond awesome, since I hadn’t expected to be there for the performance.  We rehearsed an extra half-hour and then performed for the visitors, who were students at Dr. George’s journalism school.  It was a huge hit and celebrating with the kids afterwards was one of the highlights of an amazing week.

After the performance!

     By the time the visitors came in on Thursday, nostalgia and emotion was running high, to say the least.  At assembly that day, the students sang the school song for the final time during my visit, and I couldn’t hold back the tears.  As fellow volunteer Will Collins aptly put it, “If that song doesn’t stir up something in you, then you probably have no soul.”  It’s a beautiful song about the limitless potential and possibilities open to SB children, and actually made me tear up every single time I heard it.  The choir also sang a couple songs, which didn’t help the emotions calm down at all. 

     The kids must have seen me crying or seen tears in my eyes, because after assembly my eleventh graders grabbed my computer and decorated it with bright pink and yellow stickers, and added letters which read “WE LOVE U, SB” and, across the bottom, “SMILE.”  It’s safe to say those aren’t coming off until they fall off – it was such a nice gesture and reminds me of them every single time I look at my computer.

:)

     The remainder of Thursday and Friday, my last two days, were spent trying to control my emotions while also enjoying my final hours with the people who had become family to me.  On Thursday night, a few of the ninth grade girls pulled me into their band practice with new instruments that the Italian volunteers at SB had bought for them.  Once inside, they told me that they wanted to sing a few songs dedicated to me, which included “Let It Be,” “21 Guns” by Green Day, “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson, and last but not least, “The Climb.”  Yes, I teared up again during this little jam session, and “The Climb” has forever turned into a song that I can’t hear without getting emotional (the SB version, that is, not the Miley Cyrus version…).  They also wrote some cute notes on the board for me as well.

Notes on the board :)

     Then came Friday – my final full day at SB.  I only had a couple classes, so I started taking care of last minute things and continued to work on my pile of autograph books for the kids, which was stacked high enough that I was intimidated every time I looked at it.  I wanted to put in a real effort to write meaningful notes to everyone, so I knew that the pile would take hours and hours to finish, but procrastination was getting me in trouble, as per usual.  When assembly rolled around, I still had at least 30 or 40 to finish, and knew that it would be a long night.  I was fully convinced I was going to cry during assembly when I had to give my goodbye speech and got my card (a beautiful one with a lion on the front and a pop-up Shrek and Donkey inside), but managed to hold it in…barely. 

Saying goodbye

     I thought for a while about what to say up on stage, because there are a million things that I learned at SB and countless ways that it changed my outlook on life, from the smallest daily things to huge paradigm shifts.  In the end, I kept coming back to one thing which Dr. George liked to emphasize – that SB is, above all, a family.  These kids are not Dr. George’s students, but his children, and everyone in the SB family is connected in a unique way that I have never felt before.  So, that’s what I talked about (before I cut myself off because I was getting into dangerous emotional territory).  I talked about how I came here as a volunteer whose only connection to SB was that my cousin Robbie volunteered here, and left with over 200 brothers and sisters.  Indeed, I signed every single autograph book I wrote with “your brother, Karan” because that’s how close I felt and feel towards the children of SB.  I hope I could convey even a little bit of that sentiment in my short speech.

     The rest of the day was spent enjoying my time with the kids – during class, I got approval from Miss Beena, the principal, to take my classes outside and play around, so that’s exactly what I did.  This was awesome with the eighth graders and even my eleventh and twelfth grade business kids, and some pics are below.

Nanda and Sujatha!

Buns and Guns in action

Preetha's go-to move

8th grade boys!

Just how fat is fat Karan?

8th grade girls!

8th grade group pics

Hassan and Amar getting after it

The business girls get a class off

My brothers and sisters :)

Sly Two and Sly One

     I had my last dance practice in the afternoon and then got one of the best presents I’ve ever received from one of my students/sisters.  I tutored her in math three times a week, and would always joke with her about how when she became a rich businesswoman she would have to buy me a Lamborghini for all my help.  Well, on our last day of tutoring, she told me to close my eyes and put a small light-up toy car keychain in my hands.  When I asked her what it was, she said, “Well, I can’t buy you a Lamborghini yet, but I bought this for you so that you can remember my promise – I’ll still get you one in the future.”  If you don’t think that car is staying on my keychain forever, you don’t know me one bit.  This was only one of the keychains and cards I got during my final couple of days, which made leaving even harder.

SB kids can move better than you

Stealing my water bottle....again....

The Avi Avi dance crew

     Anyway, on Friday night I stared down my stack of autograph books again, knowing it was going to be a late night.  In fact, it turned out to be an all-nighter, the first I’ve ever pulled without the help of any kind of caffeine source (turns out getting extremely emotional will really do a great job of keeping you awake).  By 6:15 am, when it was time for me to do the news with my news crew, I was mostly packed up and only had a few autograph books left to do.  Still running on adrenaline, I felt like a million bucks and tried my best not to think about my impending departure.  Over the next few hours, I finished the books, took a bunch of final pictures with the kids, and then finally left after assembly. 

Some of my 11th and 12th graders on my last day

My 11th grade business students, minus Sowmani

Right before my last assembly!

9th grade girls!

Okay Viji

Group hug to say goodbye

Me and Miss Veena, the Hindi teacher and all-around awesome person!

Me and the grads before I left!

     Overall, probably the toughest thing about my trip was just that – leaving itself.  I met up with a few SB graduates in Bangalore on my way to the airport (and had so much fun I almost missed my flight!) and then closed the book on the first chapter of my SB experience.  I say that because I know there will be several returns to this place that so quickly and thoroughly captured my heart.  I’ve read the cards and autograph books the kids made me a hundred times in the short few days I’ve been gone, and already miss SB so much and can’t wait to go back.  But for now, I say see you later, to SB and this blog.  It’s been an amazing ride J

Family :)